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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586218">The Nature of the Conscious Q-niverse</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prixin47/pseuds/Prixin47'>Prixin47</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Trek: Voyager</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 04:27:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>5,233</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25586218</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Prixin47/pseuds/Prixin47</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Q brings Kathryn to a very strange new reality. Is he just playing games, or is there something important to be learned here?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kathryn Janeway &amp; Q, Kathryn Janeway / Charlotte Anderson-Alvarez (OC)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>The Nature of the Conscious Q-niverse</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Something was thumping far in the distance - insistent, but dull and very far away. Kathryn was so tired she could have easily ignored it and swum deliciously back towards the depths of sleep. The past few days had been impossibly difficult, full of second guessing and self-flagellation over her choice to destroy the Caretaker’s array. She really could have used the rest, but something had begun to nag at her and it pulled her towards wakefulness.</p><p>She sat up in bed and opened her eyes, only to realize that her face was covered by some kind of eye mask. Upon removing it, she was met with a blaze of sunlight. </p><p>She jumped out of bed, her fatigue instantly forgotten, and ran towards a huge window that spanned the length of the room. Outside, a tropical sun blazed down over open ocean. </p><p>Was this… Earth? </p><p>“But how?” she asked in open wonderment.</p><p>Her voice came back to her somewhat muffled, as though she were extremely congested. </p><p>The thumping noises were growing increasingly insistent, although they still seemed very far away. They were now accompanied by rattling noises and multiple human voices.</p><p>She turned just in time to see the door open a crack.</p><p>“Kate,” said a muffled voice, “are you okay in there? Can I come in?”</p><p>Kathryn cast her eyes around the room and found a white terrycloth bathrobe draped neatly over a nearby chair. She put it on.</p><p>“Yes, come in,” she said.</p><p>The door opened and a flustered young woman she had never seen before walked straight into the room and began talking to her in a very muffled voice. </p><p>“Oh thank God!” she said. “You had us all worried sick. I’ve been calling you for an hour. The panel is in fifteen minutes. Do you need me to cancel your appearance or…?”</p><p>Kathryn reached up to her ears and removed some kind of clear, molded wax, having realized that this was the cause of the muffled soundscape she’d experienced since waking. The sound of the ocean came into crisp focus. This was Earth alright, or as close to it as she’d experienced in quite awhile.</p><p>She composed herself. </p><p>“I must insist,” she said, cutting off the woman, whose look of concern was deepening, “that you tell me where I am and what you have done with my crew and my ship.”</p><p>“Kate,” the woman said, now looking openly alarmed, “you're kidding, right? There’s a panel on women in science in fifteen minutes and you’re supposed to be…”</p><p>Kathryn turned and walked back towards the window, “is this Earth?” she interrupted.</p><p>She was met with silence. When she turned back, the woman was tapping wildly with her thumbs on a very small PADD. She stopped and looked up.</p><p>“Don’t worry, Kate,” she said, with a slightly patronizing smile. “We’ll get it all sorted out. Just get yourself dressed and we’ll worry about the rest - “</p><p>“Where is my <em>crew</em>?” Kathryn cut her off, her eyes narrowing, her voice growing flinty on the last word.</p><p>The woman’s eyes grew wide with bafflement and a touch of fear. She backed out of the room, closing the door behind her without another word.</p><p>Kathryn sunk into a chair and took a steadying breath. Questions raced through her mind, each possible answer more preposterous than the last. </p><p>Where were Chakotay, Tuvok, and the others? What was the status of <em>Voyager</em>? Could this actually be Earth? Who in the hell was this odd young woman who seemed to be holding her captive, and why did she keep calling her “Kate?”</p><p>And then, in a flash of light, an annoyingly familiar man appeared.</p><p>“Q!” she exclaimed, “I should have known this was your doing.”</p><p>“Oh Kathy,” replied the omnipotent pain in her ass, “I do love how you’re always so happy to see me.”</p><p>She stood and put her hands on her hips.</p><p>“I don’t know what little game you’re playing this time, Q, but it ends now. Return me to my ship and my crew!”</p><p>“Not just yet, I’m afraid,” he said, crossing the room to her and taking her hand in his. “You see, Kathy, I think it’s high time we put your little mission to the Delta Quadrant into its proper context.”</p><p>She pulled her hand back and took a breath. Her impulse was to issue another demand, or at the very least make a cold retort; but as before, something had begun to nag at her. She dropped her hand.</p><p>“What kind of context?”</p><p>“Oh splendid!” Q said, waving his hands in delight, “absolutely splendid! I simply can’t wait for you to figure out where you are.”</p><p>“Alright Q, I’ll play,” she said with a sigh, “on one condition. I want you to guarantee that my ship and my crew will remain safe and in once piece, regardless of what happens here.”</p><p>“You have my solemn word as a Q,” he replied. “I swear it on the Continuum itself.”</p><p>And then he vanished.</p><p>——</p><p>Kathryn tried the door at once, of course. She was surprised to find that it opened. When she poked her head out, she saw a deserted corridor.</p><p>Realizing that she was wearing only a bathrobe, she decided to seek out more appropriate attire for an escape attempt. Just because she’d agreed to Q’s terms didn’t mean that she wasn’t going to follow her Starfleet training, and in Starfleet, the first duty of every captured officer was escape.</p><p>She opened the wardrobe and found an array of elegant outfits. Slacks and button down shirts. Scarves and comfortable brown leather shoes. Everything was stylish, comfortable, and well-made, if a little old-fashioned. Given the weather, she put on a simple white linen pants-suit and headed quickly for the door.</p><p>The corridor outside was still deserted, and it seemed to stretch on forever before it opened out into a kind of lobby area with a bank of turbolifts. There was still nobody in sight. No guards. No security fields. If this was a prison, it was the most relaxed one she’d ever seen.</p><p>She walked up to the turbolift doors, but they didn’t open automatically and she nearly ran into them. She noticed a button with a small “down” arrow on it and pressed it. The button lit up briefly, before a bell dinged and the doors opened.</p><p>Old-fashioned, but it worked well enough.</p><p>She entered the turbolift and pressed the “1” button. If she was going to try to escape, the bottom floor of whatever kind of building this was would be the place to start.</p><p>The doors opened onto a sea of people, all crammed together on some kind of open-air promenade with a massive swimming pool in the middle. The smell of seawater hit her nostrils and she realized as she looked past the crowd to a railing, and then to open ocean that she was on the deck of an enormous sailing ship of some kind. </p><p>As she walked through the crowd looking for a holodeck exit of some kind, one or two people carrying tropical looking drinks turned around to stare at her. Soon, more people were looking her way. </p><p>And then, without warning, the crowd began to applaud and cheer. The lighthearted music that had been playing moments ago transitioned to an inspirational orchestral piece, all timpani, horns, and strings. More and more people were turning to look at her, and across every single one of their faces was a look of total adoration. </p><p>What in the hell was going on?</p><p>Across the promenade, Q stood on a dais with a microphone in his hand.</p><p>“Well well well! It appears we have a surprise appearance from the guest of honor. Please come up and say a few words, won’t you, Kate?”</p><p>The crowd parted before her, making a path, and she walked a little stiffly, towards the dais. She was not used to this kind of attention and it was making her nervous.</p><p>When she reached the steps, Q reached out a hand to help her up and leaned up to speak in her ear. “Call me John,” he whispered. “Everyone here calls me John.”</p><p>“Alright,” she hissed back, “but you owe me one hell of an explanation.”</p><p>“Ladies, gentlemen, humanoids of all genders,” said Q into the microphone with a sweep of his hand, “the one, the only, Kate Mulgrew!”</p><p>The crowd now burst into raucous applause and full-throated cheers that went on for close to a full minute. As she looked around the crowd, she noticed that many of them were wearing Starfleet uniforms. Most were Captains. Some, according to their pips, were Admirals. But she’d never met any of these officers before, and this was unlike any Starfleet gathering she’d ever been to.</p><p>“Thank you, John,” she said with a nod to Q when the tumult had died down. “It’s… so good to see you, my old friend.”</p><p>The crowd burst into cheers again.</p><p>When they subsided, she continued, “And it’s so good to be here with you all on this beautiful Earth that we share.”</p><p>She paused and the sea of people applauded again. There were no murmurs of confusion or blank stares to be seen. That settled it. This was Earth.</p><p>“We love you, Kate!” a woman yelled from the crowd.</p><p>She smiled. These people really did seem genuine in their appreciation.</p><p>“I thank you for your kindness,” she said, improvising wildly. “I just wanted to stop by and say hello. I’m going to freshen up now and… I’ll see you all later.”</p><p>She stepped down from the dais as the raucous applause and cheers returned and the sea of people parted before her again.</p><p>A golden-skinned young woman approached her, her vibrant blue hair shaved on both sides and worn in long braids on top. Kathryn noticed a tattoo on her upper arm, a Starfleet insignia surrounded by what looked like nebular gasses and… was that <em>Voyager</em>? </p><p>“Ms. Mulgrew,” she said, “My name is Charlotte. I’ve been a huge fan since I was a kid. Janeway was my first queer crush and I just wanted to thank you for helping me realize who I really am.”</p><p>The woman had tears in her eyes. She was holding out an intricate pink origami rose, folded expertly and with great care. The gesture was so earnest that Kathryn couldn’t help but get a little choked up even in the midst of her confusion.</p><p>“I’m glad you found yourself,” Kathryn replied, said taking the rose. “I’m glad I could help.”</p><p>——</p><p>“Do you mean to tell me,” Kathryn said to Q when they were back in her cabin a few minutes later, “that my entire life, my work, every aspect of my being is… just some kind of entertainment?”</p><p>“Oh Kathy, no!” replied Q. “You humans really are so linear. Yes, it’s a television show, but it’s so much more than that. It’s a story these people have been telling for decades. A kind of… morality play about the hope they have for their future. Some of them even treat it like a religion. You could say that you are one of their gods.”</p><p>“I don’t want to be anybody’s god, Q,” Kathryn said brusquely, turning to look out the window. “I’m a Starfleet Captain. I’m a scientist. That’s my life’s work.”</p><p>“Admit it, Kathy. That applause, that adoration. It felt good, didn’t it?”</p><p>“Of course it’s nice to be appreciated, Q,” she said turning around, “but not for something I don’t even remember doing. I don’t need crowds of adoring people hanging on my every word. What I need,” she said, taking a step closer to him and meeting his eyes, “is to be with my crew. That’s my duty.”</p><p>“Kathy, did you ever consider that you could have a duty to these people? That they might need you every bit as much as the crew of <em>Voyager</em>? And that’s to say nothing of the numbers. On <em>Voyager</em>, you are responsible for some 140 souls -“</p><p>“146,” she interjected.</p><p>“Very well, 146,” he replied. “Here, you are nothing short of a queen to millions who would do anything for you. Some of them would even die for you.”</p><p>“Is that what you think being a captain is?” she asked, her voice rising, “ruling over people and having them die for you?”</p><p>“Well isn’t it?” asked Q. “Didn’t you just order some Ensign something to go on a mission where she ended up dead?”</p><p>Kathryn grew a little nauseated at this but she set it aside. She could hardly expect an immortal being to understand the finality of death, of what it meant to humans. “Yes, Q. Sometimes I give orders that result in the death of an officer. That’s part of being in command. But what you don’t seem to understand is that I’m just as willing to lay down my life for my crew as they are to do it for me.”</p><p>“Oh yes, yes, that’s all very noble!” said Q dismissively, “but Kathy there’s something for you to learn here and, well, I’m not letting you go home until you learn it.”</p><p>“So you will let me go home eventually?” she asked.</p><p>“Maybe,” said Q with a shrug before disappearing again.</p><p>——</p><p>The young woman, who Kathryn had learned was called Lindsey and who was a bit like a Captain’s yeoman of old, had returned to her cabin with a tray of food. </p><p>“Are you feeling better?” she asked, hopefully.</p><p>Now that Kathryn had a slightly better idea of what was going on, she decided to give poor Lindsey a break.</p><p>“Yes,” she said with a smile. “Thank you for this. I overslept and got disoriented this morning.”</p><p>“The tropics will do that to you,” replied Lindsey with a relieved smile. “Are you drinking enough water?”</p><p>In answer, Kathryn raised her glass of ice water in Lindsey’s direction before taking a nice long sip. The water tasted like home.</p><p>“They decided to reschedule the women in science panel to tomorrow afternoon since you weren’t feeling well,” said Lindsey, looking over a piece of paper. “That just leaves tonight’s Trek-ae-oke contest, which you are supposed to be judging. Are you feeling up to that?”</p><p>“Yes,” Kathryn responded, knowing better than to ask. She would find out soon enough.</p><p>——</p><p>Trek-ae-oke, as it turned out, was a kind of pageant in which people dressed up in <em>Star Trek</em> costumes and sang popular songs to a backing track, except with the lyrics replaced to reference <em>Star Trek</em> themes.</p><p>She’d sat through a truly terrible rendition of “Hunka Hunka Burnin’ Warp Core” by a man dressed as a Ferengi Dai-Mon and a mediocre performance of a song called “Not the Doctor” by a woman who appeared to be impersonating Beverly Crusher, CMO of the <em>Enterprise</em>. </p><p>From across the room, Q was once again playing the role of the emcee. As the applause died away and the Crusher lookalike left the stage, he brought the microphone to his lips and said, “and now put your hands together for Commander Charlotte-tay singing… ‘I Wanna Dance with the Captain.’”</p><p>The blue-haired woman climbed onto the stage, now dressed in full uniform as Commander Chakotay. She took the mic and began to sing.</p><p>“Shift change, upon the hour and the day begins to fade.<br/>Still enough time to figure out how to chase my blues away. <br/>I’ve done alright up ’til now, it’s the Starfleet way that shows me how.<br/>But when the night falls, my loneliness  calls.”</p><p>The woman unzipped her jacket and directed her eyes towards the judge’s booth.</p><p>“Oh, I wanna dance with the Captain.<br/>We’ve got some chemistry, don’t we Kathryn?<br/>Oh, I wanna dance with the Captain.<br/>Girl, you know that you’re into me.”</p><p>Kathryn grinned. She couldn’t help herself. The whole thing was too surreal. Millions of people seemed to know what she and Chakotay had tried so hard to keep to themselves: the potential of far more than friendship between them, and the sheer impossibility of it ever coming to pass.</p><p>And yet somehow, this didn’t make her feel embarrassed or exposed as it otherwise might have. Every single one of these people felt something about that relationship too. It gave it a kind of gravitas, an importance that she never would have placed on it otherwise, and it felt fitting somehow.</p><p>As Charlotte continued to remove pieces of her uniform and sing about Chakotay’s longing for his captain, Kathryn noticed that dozens of women in the audience were out of their chairs and dancing in the aisles. At least a hundred more were screaming with delight and clapping along.</p><p>When the song ended, the applause was deafening. Charlotte took a bow, but her eyes never left Kathryn. She was beaming, her eyes crinkling at the corners, dimples on full display.</p><p>Kathryn remembered how much she liked dimples. She grinned back.</p><p>“Well that was really something!” said Q from his perch, “please give another round of applause for ‘Commander Charlotte-tay.’”</p><p>The crowd cheered again and, as Charlotte left the stage, Kathryn realized that she was actually having fun.</p><p>She gave Charlotte full marks, and it seemed the other two judges - dead ringers for Colonel Kira Nerys of Deep Space Nine (sans Bajoran nose, of course) and the legendary Admiral Uhura - were in agreement that Charlotte was the clear winner.</p><p>The prize, Kathryn only learned after the fact, was a 1:1 dinner with the cast member of the winner’s choice the following night.</p><p>——</p><p>“Admit it, Kathy,” said Q, appearing in her cabin later that evening, “you’re having a good time.”</p><p>“Alright,” she said. “I am enjoying myself. This is a bizarre little scenario you’ve set up here Q, but it’s sweet in its own way. These people seem to have taken the values and ideals of Starfleet and turned them into guideposts for navigating an awful time in Earth’s history, and they get such joy from it. It feels good to be part of that.”</p><p>“And then there’s Charlotte,” said Q, placing great emphasis on the name. “<em>She’s</em> rather sweet in her own way, isn’t she?”</p><p>“Honestly, Q,” said Kathryn, prickling again. “I’m not even remotely interested in - “</p><p>“Come come, Kathy, you don’t need to pretend. Don’t forget I do know everything.”</p><p>“Fine!” said Kathryn, “she’s lovely. But that’s beside the point. You seem to think there's something I need to do here and I'm determined to find out what it is so that I can get home. I’m not going to pretend I’m not having fun, but if you think for one second that I’m going to be deterred from returning to my ship and crew by a few ‘fans,’ you have another thing coming.”</p><p>“You’ll see,” said Q, and vanished.</p><p>——</p><p>The following day’s women in science panel was nothing short of a delight. Kathryn had been given the task of moderating a discussion between five women working at the top of their respective fields: conservation biology, astronomy, physics, geology, and neuroscience. Of course most of what they were researching had been covered in her elementary and middle school science curricula, but their dedication to their work and their steadfastness in demanding gender and racial equity in their fields inspired her. </p><p>These women had to be twice as good - more so if they were Black - and three times as hardworking to get anywhere in their fields, and yet they’d all made it. They were publishing groundbreaking research and serving as role models for future generations of women in the sciences. Kathryn felt as though she’d found her peers, or as close to them as she was going to find here, and that gave her something precious to hold onto.</p><p>After the panel, Kathryn spent nearly a half hour discussing the impacts of climate change on ocean ecosystems with Bonnie, a conservation biologist in her mid 50’s with dark skin and grey dreadlocks sculpted artfully atop her head. “I know you’re well-read and that you did a lot of research to understand the science of <em>Trek</em>,” she said, “but I really wasn’t prepared for just how much general science you know, Kate. You’ve made me reconsider some of my preconceptions about actresses.”</p><p>Kathryn smiled as she realized that, for the past ninety minutes, she had been playing the part of an actress who had become famous playing the part of, well, her. She glimpsed Lindsey over Bonnie’s shoulder, waving and tapping her wrist.</p><p>“It’s been a real delight Bonnie, but my assistant tells me that it’s time for me to move on to my next engagement. Thank you!”</p><p>After taking Bonnie’s hand in affectionate parting, Kathryn strode towards Lindsey. “Alright, what’s next?”</p><p>“You have dinner with the winner of last night’s karaoke competition, Charlotte Anderson-Alvarez,” said Lindsey. </p><p>Kathryn squirmed a little. Q hadn’t been wrong when he noticed her noticing Charlotte. She’d had to keep that part of herself under tight constraints aboard <em>Voyager</em>, as everyone onboard was her subordinate; but here, at least for the moment, she was allowed to relax a bit more and something about the young woman’s combination of swagger and groundedness was quite compelling.</p><p>“I’ll come get you in 90 minutes,” said Lindsey, misreading Kathryn’s discomfort.</p><p>——</p><p>Lindsey needn’t have worried. Charlotte turned out to be a perfect gentleperson. She made absolutely no pretense of sexual disinterest, and the setting of their dinner - a private restaurant balcony overlooking the water, underneath a clear and starry sky - was about as romantic as it got. But now that she wasn't performing, Charlotte’s boundaries were as rigorous as Kathryn’s, and they were both thoroughly enjoying a friendly dinner.</p><p>“You are the entire reason I became an actress,” Charlotte was saying, sipping at a whiskey neat. “The way that you talk about the craft, how you dig your teeth into every part, your discipline, how you fully inhabit every character you play - it’s inspiring.”</p><p>“Tell me about some of your favorite roles,” Kathryn asked, trying to keep the focus as much on Charlotte as possible. </p><p>“Well, I’m actually in the middle of auditioning for the role I’ve wanted to play my entire life,” she said, “the Strawberry Theatre Workshop upstate is putting together a revival of ‘Into the Woods.’ Alexander Salazar is directing, so there’s a solid chance of a Broadway transfer if everything goes well. I’ve been called back three times for the role of The Baker’s Wife. I’m pretty sure it’s down to me and one other actress. I’ll know any day now.”</p><p>“And so in the meantime, you decided to come on a <em>Star Trek</em> cruise?”</p><p>“It’s as good a way to keep myself occupied as any. Plus, if you were the performer who inspired me to become an actress, <em>Star Trek</em> is what inspired me to become an activist, and I really need to fill that tank up right now because… shit’s a mess.”</p><p>“I’ve noticed,” Kathryn said with a surge of compassion. This period had been the nadir of humanity’s final experiments with fascism prior to WWIII. “Tell me more about becoming an activist.”</p><p>“Well, I’m a queer Afro-Latina, in case you hadn’t noticed,” said Charlotte, “so me just existing is kind of a revolutionary act in and of itself. But <em>Star Trek</em> was the first thing that ever gave me a vision of how things could be better, how we could all just build and dream and innovate together. It gave me something to reach for. I got involved with the Black Lives Matter movement about six years ago and I haven't looked back since.”</p><p>She paused for a sip of whiskey. </p><p>“But enough about me, what is this like for you being trapped on a cruise ship with a bunch of Trekkies for three days.”</p><p>“You know,” said Kathryn, sipping her own whiskey, “I was a little overwhelmed at first, but everyone has been so lovely. I’m really glad I came.”</p><p>She looked into Charlotte’s dark brown eyes, which were sparkling with reflected candlelight, and Charlotte looked back. They both grinned.</p><p>“Knock knock,” came Lindsey’s voice from the doorway. “How are you ladies enjoying your supper?”</p><p>“Everything is beautiful Lindsey, thank you,” said Kathryn, noticing her own disappointment at the interruption. </p><p>“Are you about ready for dessert?”</p><p>“Um, yes,” said Charlotte enthusiastically.</p><p>Lindsey came out onto the balcony with two slices of flourless chocolate cake drizzled with raspberry coulis. </p><p>“My favorite!” exclaimed Charlotte. “Thanks Lindsey.”</p><p>“Thank you,” said Kathryn, taking the plate from Lindsey and making meaningful eye contact with her. <em>This is fine. We’re having a great time. It’s okay to take the rest of the night off.</em></p><p>Lindsey smiled at Kathryn, having grasped her meaning in the way of yeomen, whatever their generation.</p><p>“Have a great rest of your night ladies. Kate, I’ll meet you tomorrow at 8:30 to go over the day’s itinerary.”</p><p>“Can I ask you a personal question?” Charlotte asked as they were finishing their desserts a few minutes later.</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“You have to know that you’re absolute catnip for lesbians, right?”</p><p>Kathryn smiled and studied the fingernails on her left hand. “I’ve noticed that there are quite a few women here who seem interested in me, yes.”</p><p>“So then, are you just that one straight girl that literally every lesbian on Earth is gaga over or is there any part of you that’s been curious?”</p><p>Kathryn sighed. She’d done a bit of research into the actress she was supposed to be in this - whatever this was that Q had created - and she had an inkling.</p><p>“Charlotte, you have to understand,” she said. “I grew up in the rural midwest at a time where nobody was talking about homosexuality. I didn’t know any men who loved men or women who loved women. I‘d never even heard a story about people like that. I didn’t know that such a thing was possible until I moved to the city, and I am sufficiently attracted to men that…” she trailed off, not entirely certain how to finish speaking for a woman she would likely never meet.</p><p>“Well,” said Charlotte, the corner of her mouth curling up, a dimple forming, “if you ever decide you’d like to give it a try, I volunteer as tribute.”</p><p>Kathryn chuckled. “I’ll take it under advisement.”</p><p>“Shall we?” asked Charlotte, standing and pulling out Kathryn’s chair as the joined her.</p><p>They re-entered the main dining room of the restaurant in companionable silence. A few stray diners acknowledged them with the Vulcan salute and Kathryn obliged them in return, which seemed to delight them to no end.</p><p>“It’s nice to be able to make people happy like this,” she thought. </p><p>The women parted company in an upper corridor a few minutes later.</p><p>“Thanks again,” said Charlotte, “it was a dream come true for me to get to know you better one-on-one.”</p><p>“I hope you get that Broadway transfer,” said Kathryn.</p><p>“Will you come see me if I do?” asked Charlotte, hopefully.</p><p>”If I can,” replied Kathryn.</p><p>After a beat in which neither of them could quite break eye contact, Charlotte asked, “would you like a hug?”</p><p>“Sure,” said Kathryn.</p><p>The two women embraced and Kathryn felt a surge of desire course through her. Charlotte’s body was soft and strong all at once. She didn’t quite know how to proceed, but she knew she didn’t want to let go.</p><p>Charlotte let go and stepped back a just a fraction of a second before she did, and their eyes caught again.</p><p>Kathryn leaned forward and kissed Charlotte on the lips very gently, as if to say "this is wanted, but it's also as far as I can go." </p><p>When she pulled back, Charlotte’s eyes were teary.</p><p>“Good night sweetheart,” she said, wiping one of the tears away with the pad of her thumb.</p><p>Then she turned and walked back towards her cabin.</p><p>——</p><p>Q didn’t take long to make his entrance after she walked through the door.</p><p>“Oh Kathy!” he said, “what a performance! You should give this acting thing a shot. A whole day as Kate Mulgrew and you’ve made everyone believe.”</p><p>Kathryn felt ire rise up inside of her. “Q, I’ve had it! Enough! Either tell me why I’m here and what I’m supposed to learn from all this or send me back to <em>Voyager</em>.”</p><p>“Well, as it just so happens, I think you may have just realized it.”</p><p>“Realized what?”</p><p>“What your little trek through the stars is really <em>for</em>,” he said patronizingly. </p><p>She opened her arms as if to say, “just explain yourself already.”</p><p>He sat on the sofa and motioned for her to sit next to him.</p><p>She sat, keeping some distance between them.</p><p>“I’m going to tell you a little something I once told Jean-Luc,” he said, “the true exploration isn’t about stars and nebulae. It’s about charting the possibilities of existence.</p><p>In the reality you inhabit, you’re a scientist, a starship captain, a leader stranded light years from home while responsible for a ship and crew. But in this reality, the story of that ship and crew has inspired millions. It made the life you saw tonight possible. Charlotte’s life. You witnessed what the mere notion of you has done for people. Remember that the next time you start torturing yourself over your decisions.”</p><p>Kathryn had to hand it to Q, he had a point.</p><p>“So you’re saying that, when I get back to <em>Voyager</em>, these people will still be watching?”</p><p>“Yes,” he said. “And they’ll be coming up with their own stories, their own ways of thinking about the journey you’re on. That’s the nature of the conscious universe, Kathy; the nature of the continuum upon which all things rest. Reality is just one part of the universe telling a story to another.”</p><p>And for a moment, the truth slid into focus in Kathryn’s mind. She was reminded of the basics of sensation and perception that she’d studied in her high school neuroscience classes. What you perceive is what your brain makes of all the stimuli in your environment. Your vision is, in a sense, just a story your brain is telling you about what’s beyond your body.</p><p>“Thank you, Q,” she finally said before adding, after a beat, “this may be the first time I’ve actually meant that.”</p><p>“You’re welcome, Kathy,” he said.</p><p>——</p><p>The next thing she knew, Kathryn appeared in a flash of light in her ready room. The ship’s chronometer showed that it was 0730. The start of a normal day.</p><p>She sat down at her workstation and noticed that the pink paper rose Charlotte had given her on their first meeting was sitting on the desk.</p><p>She smiled as she ran a finger across the petals.</p><p>“Computer,” she said, “show me historical records for Charlotte Anderson-Alvarez.”</p><p>The computer pulled up a biography. “Charlotte Anderson-Alvarez, actress, author, activist. Born Brooklyn, New York April 29, 1982. Died Montgomery, Alabama May 23 2060. Performances of note include the Baker’s Wife in a celebrated Broadway revival of “Into the Woods,” Cleopatra in Antony &amp; Cleopatra at the American Shakespeare Theatre, and Hedda in Ibsen's 'Hedda Gabler.'"</p><p>"Computer," Kathryn said, "do we have any records of any of her performances?"</p><p>"Affirmative. One record exists."</p><p>"For what performance?"</p><p>"'Into the Woods' by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine. A two-dimensional video recording exists of the performance."</p><p>"Save it as a new Holodeck program," instructed Kathryn.</p><p>She knew what her plans were for the evening.</p>
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